The Angry Discord Series: Requiem
by Christopher Spielberg
Summary: A sequel to the one-shot collection story of The Angry Discord Series, Discord travels to the Kingdom of Lugnica by portal, where he meets and interacts with Emilia, Ram, Rem and their friends, and also introduces modern lifestyles to Lugnica. During his long stay, he once again experiences antics and issues with them. Rated T-M for coarse language, weapons, violence and cigar use.
1. Discord's Arrival

**A/N: This story is a sequel to The Angry Discord Series, which took place in Ever After High. This time, this story will not only once again just be a series of hilarious one-shots featuring Discord, but will take place in the Kingdom of Lugnica from the highly-rated and popular anime Re:Zero, which will feature characters such as Emilia, Ram, Rem, Beatrice, Roswaal, Crusch, Ferris and Puck; whom will interact with the hilarious MLP character Discord during his days there. Konosuba characters like Aqua, Darkness, Megumin, Yunyun and Wiz would appear in later chapters. The Lugnica in the story is an AU in which Subaru would not be featured in that universe. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.**

**Discord arrives at Lugnica for the first time and meets Emilia, Ram, Rem and their friends, also introducing brand new technology that would later make modern advancements for the kingdom (except for modern city infrastructure, ranging or explosive weapons or mainstream vehicles, that is; will have a Wakandan-like tone to it). Nevertheless, ****he spends hilarious and fun-filled quality time with them.**

**In the most angry way possible.**

**Rated T-M for coarse language, violence and cigarette use. Inspired by TheAngryGrandpaShow (RIP Grandpa, may your soul rest in peace).**

**Plot: Discord arrives at Lugnica for the first time, meeting Emilia, Ram, Rem and friends. But a big surprise awaits for him. The prologue to the story will also introduce a revolutionizing change in the Kingdom of Lugnica with modern advancements.**

* * *

Discord, after travelling through one of his personal inter-dimensional portals, finally arrives somewhere.

"Finally! I've been going through many, many dimensions that would lead me to somewhere called...", Discord said to himself, before checking his mail message that invited him to a place called Lugnica, "...Lugnica? Out of all the worlds I've been before visiting Ever After High, Lugnica sounds like a new place I've never heard of. Heck, where am I?", he questioned before he saw an astonishing mansion in front of him, "Oh. So that must be Lugnica."

The draconequus comes forward as he approaches the door.

"Hello? My name's Discord. Is anyone there at the moment? Or should I come back later as a delivery boy or paperboy, or something?"

"Come in.", a voice replied, the doors opening slightly.

The draconequus was alerted a bit, but calms when he decides to go inside. Once he comes in, he looks around to see an elegant lobby, with two pillars with a pair of lamps, high class designs and paintings, and a royal staircase. But no one was there.

"Hello?", the Lord of Chaos said, "HELLO? Anyone?", as he checks the dining room on his left, then he checks the guest room on the right yet no one was there, as he swears "Goddamn.", before hesitantly going up the staircase.

Going down the hallway and looking around at the elegant architecture and classical look of the mansion, he finally reaches the door to the guest bedroom where it said on the letter he was supposed to go.

"This must be the place.", cheerfully excited Discord.

But he heard whispers inside the room through the door, which were two familiar voices.

The draconequus said, "WHO'S IN THERE?", as he, in a surprised expression that elevates to fear, screams in horror when thinking there were ghosts that led him to an abandoned mansion. He thought to himself, _"Calm down, Discord. There's no ghosts. There is only one way to solve this."_, before he snaps his fingers to summon a metal baseball bat, breathing in order to keep himself together as well.

He heard a slight door creak, getting Discord's attention as he glares, mad.

"Go.", a whisper was heard inside the room.

Hearing slight noises inside the room, he then readies his baseball bat and kicks the door open after hearing a few doors inside the room shut closed quietly.

The bedroom had a queen-sized bed, with two doors leading to a closet and a washbasin respectively.

Despite this, he decides to face the mysterious voices head on.

"I've got something for you now...", the Lord of Chaos angered, approaching the door to the closet and knocking it with the baseball bat, "Come out! COME ON OUT!", knocking the door loudly and vigorously while yelling in anger, "**I'VE GOT A FUCKING BASEBALL BAT, YOU HEAR ME YOU GODDAMN BITCH, C'MON!** ONE!"

Silence.

"**RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**", roared all of a sudden by a blue-haired girl, named Ram, who came out from the other door and jumpscared Discord, having a bright pink horn on her head!

Discord yelled in fright, "AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!", dropping the metal baseball bat and fainting to the ground due to fear overtaking him.

* * *

Blackness. Discord groans as he slowly regains consciousness. His vision starts to clear up from blurriness.

That was when he saw three people, two of which are maidens, one is the same blue-haired girl from earlier, Rem, and the other who has pink-hair and is Rem's sister, Ram; and the third who is a half-elf named Emilia.

"What...happened?", the Lord of Chaos moaned in pain.

Emilia gasped, "He talked."

Discord's vision clears up completely, before seeing the three girls as his consciousness sprang wide awake, "Who are you three, and what are you doing here?!"

"Apologies, My name is Rem, and the other is my sister Ram."

"And I'm Emilia. We heard about your arrival so we wanted to have a surprise for you."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to make the place abandoned or whisper like if there's a ghost!", said the draconequus.

Ram suggested, "Is our guest hot-tempered, Rem, Rem?"

"Sister, sister, he may only have anger issues if so.", Rem replied.

Discord exclaimed, "ANGER!? I'm only angry now because you scared the hell out of me with your surprise, Rem! Plus, I already know what your names are anyway too!"

"You do?", Emilia supposed.

The draconequus agreed, "YEAH!"

"I can see why you're quick-tempered sometimes.", disciplined Emilia.

The lord of chaos said, "I'M NOT-", sighing as he apologized, "I'm sorry, sometimes I get carried away.", calming down, "I received a message inviting me here to stay for a while, was it you who messaged me, Emilia?"

"I gave you the letter, yes.", listened Emilia, smiling.

Discord settled, "Okay. But who was the voice that invited me in earlier?"

"That would perhaps be me.", someone said outside the bedroom, as it appears to be Roswaal himself; "Welcome, Discord."

The draconequus continued, "You're Roswaal? Is this mansion Lugnica?"

Emilia chuckled in a laugh, the former correcting, "No, silly! This mansion isn't Lugnica. You are in Lugnica."

"And this is my mansion.", Roswaal explained, "Roswaal Mansion."

The lord of chaos recounts, "No way. I live in a magical land called Equestria, and my residence is in another bizarre dimension."

"Confirmed.", another voice said outside the bedroom, as a cute loli blond-haired girl came in and said, "You must be Discord."

Discord asked, "How many of you are here? By the way you're cute, Beatrice.", presuming the young loli girl.

"In the mansion, just us and my servants.", Roswaal said.

The draconequus stood up with his trusty baseball bat and yelled, "ARE YOU ACTUALLY GHOSTS?!"

"Hell, no!", Emilia glared at Discord for his uproar.

The lord of chaos mumbled, "Damn!", as he dropped the bat again, giving up, "Sorry about that again. I didn't know you're all magical!"

"We are. What are you gonna do while you're here for a while?", said Emilia, calmly.

Discord discussed, "I was going to introduce some modern stuff here to bring revolutionization for Lugnica."

"Modern stuff?", Ram and Rem cutely asked.

"Revolutionization?", Roswaal and Beatrice interested.

The half-elf asked, "With what, exactly?"

"Nah, just some social media, some delicacies, technology...", introduced the draconequus.

Emilia queries as she starts a conversation with Discord, "What are those?"

"Are you talking about the shoes-related meme?"

"Sorry. I don't know what _'meme'_ means."

"Oh. Well, then. I'll just show you guys some of the stuff from modern life, if possible. You see, I met some friends back in Ever After High, and they've showed me a lot of great stuff back there that is considered 'modern media'. I am the lord of chaos too though, and I'm basically omnipotent. I can alter reality and any world to my whim, can restore that reality if you don't like that one, and several more. And I use them for good. My friends back in Equestria helped me being good."

"Glad to hear it. Are you gonna show us or what?", Emilia asked.

Discord nods, "I will. Just one second.", before snapping his fingers and summoning his golden-plated iPhone Max.

"What's that?", everyone in the room amazed.

The draconequus said, "My phone. I'm about to start a video, I'm filming you guys off, follow me."

"Okay...", unsurely said Emilia as she, Ram, Rem, Roswaal and Beatrice left the room to follow Discord.

The lord of chaos starts his video off to the readers; "_**Hello, everyone! Ladies and gentlemen! Look what we have! Those guys are from this land called Lugnica, I'm visiting here for a while; hope you say hello to my friends at Ever After and Equestria for me! I'm about to introduce revolution in modernization for Lugnica right here, I'm serious, guys! So they're gonna be amazed! So if they do or do not like it, I'll decide what will happen. And yes, everyone. These people are Emilia, Ram, Rem, Roswaal and Beatrice, they're residents of Lugnica!**_"

By the time he finished the first part of the video, reaching outside of the mansion and out to the field, he and the others stood.

"What now?", Emilia asked Discord.

Discord replies, "Shut up, the video's still going!", before using his powers to levitate the phone camera for him, "I'm about to summon some stuff that will demonstrate what these people here will have. One! Two! Three!", as he snapped his fingers.

Emilia, Ram, Rem, Roswaal and Beatrice couldn't believe their eyes the moment later, they all then saw a big pile of stuff that Discord has summoned, full of technology, tons of food supplies, games, phones and mobile devices, movies, consoles, routers, and even a shiny car by the pile of stuff that was summoned.

"Wow! What are those?", asked again by Emilia, "That stuff are much more valuable like those ores or minerals. We also have horses, carriages, kingdoms, villages, boats, dragons and-"

The draconequus continued the video to the readers, also interrupting Emilia's sentence, "_**So you see, they don't even know what modern advancements are, so let me show a demonstration. You have 4K TVs, Blu-Ray and 4K movies, Google Homes, Amazon Echo, Alexa, Apple and Android phones, cereal, snacks, frozen foods, microwaves, XBOX, Nintendo and Playstation consoles, WiFi routers for Internet connection, and a sweet slick shiny car of mine, complete with convertible roof, disc player and heated seats. And absolutely, NO. NO weapons, modern city infrastructure or mainstream vehicles for land, sea and air, because I have my car, and they have carriages, boats and dragons, that's what Emilia here said. But for most of the technology, all it needs is a little magic.**_"

Discord suddenly uses his magic to levitate not only the phone higher, but himself, Emilia, Ram, Rem, Roswaal and Beatrice rise up to the sky where they saw almost every part of the Lugnican Kingdom.

"We're flying...", amazed Ram and Rem.

The lord of chaos then turning to his Lugnican friends, "You might wanna hold hands and close your eyes. And I trust you, it's not gonna be like Infinity War."

"What's Infini-", Roswaal pondered.

Discord groaned, "Just do it.", as Emilia, Ram, Rem, Roswaal and Beatrice do so, just before Discord snapped his fingers.

**SNAP!**

A bright light quickly engulfed the entire kingdom, blinding the video camera as well, whilst the video was still playing.

In a few seconds, the bright light fades away as Discord told Emilia, "You may open your eyes now."

Emilia, Ram, Rem, Roswaal and Beatrice open their eyes and let go, looking at the entire Lugnican kingdom below their feet, only noticing two oil rigs around the empire at the ocean.

"Nothing happened...", supposed Emilia.

Ram and Rem kindly requests, "Is that it?"

"One second.", the draconequus patiently said, snapping his fingers as he, the five Lugnicans and his golden-plated iPhone Max teleport back on the ground to see the elegant and majestic Water-Gate City, Priestella.

And that was when life in the Kingdom of Lugnica had changed.

The same peasants and pedestrians who live in Lugnica, were now using phones, technology and were more productive with businesses and currencies. Electricity was now mainstream in every part of the kingdom, even communication from the real world, using not oil for energy, but alternatives like wind power, solar power, hydro power, biomass power and geothermal power that would help power their villages and kingdoms. Advertisements on screens and billboards are seen from the top of medieval city buildings. Some of them were wearing modern clothing and suits. Some were going to work, while a few had some police uniforms alongside guards with armor riding horses. Speaking of which, of course; they still had some horses, carriages and boats there too. Homes grown with more buildings in the city, and restaurants are built and/or put in place such as McDonald's, sushi bars, pizza parlors, japanese restaurants and KFC are seen in some parts of the city for cuisine. Society had evolved to modern changes and life.

"Everything feels...a bit different.", Emilia noticed, looking around after putting her cat-eared hoddie on, "Looks...so modern."

Discord taught, "Exactly, that is called modern life. You can go to restaurants, take selfies and even get WiFi."

"Well, I'll be.", impressed Roswaal and Beatrice, "Impressive magic. What is this 'WiFi' to be exact?"

The draconequus mellowed, "Internet connection for the biggest answers and news from the real world. If you guys don't like it, I can return it back to normal."

"Oh, no no no no no, we love it!", Emilia, Ram and Rem answered.

Beatrice suggests, "How about Lugnica City, then? Mind if we check there?"

"Excellent idea!", the lord of chaos thumbs-upped, saying to the readers on the video; "_**Next up, they're gonna be amazed by how Lugnica City's gonna look like!**_", before he snapped his fingers, and they've transported to Lugnican City in an instant, "Well, guys...Lugnica forever."

The five Lugnicans were stunned again, showing the same city as before, but this time it has more advertisements as far as the eye can see, and was more busier than Priestella. They still used some horses, carriages and dragons as transportation, with more workplaces, restaurants, homes, and even new currency. Their use of energy is oil, but also use alternatives for environmental efficiency.

Emilia simply said, "You are a miracle. What else can you do that's better than this? My other friends are gonna be so proud!", to Discord.

"Shucks. Let's go back to the mansion and see what has changed.", Discord sweetly said, snapping his fingers once more, teleporting everyone, including himself and his phone taking the video still, back to Roswaal Mansion, by the entrance.

The pile of stuff Discord had summoned and left was gone, but his car was parked by the entrance where the six are now.

Emilia thanked, "Thank you for showing us all the modernity you'll bring us in the Kingdom of Lugnica."

"You would change many lives in society.", praised Ram and Rem.

Roswaal and Beatrice both said in unison, "And you would educate many people with this technology. I have one more question...", questioning, "Are books still available?"

"Of course. Libraries are still available, books are still reserved, everything's fine. Magic can be still be used, but curses and witchcraft are bye-bye. Life all around us has evolved, that's all.", the draconequus said.

Both the Lugnicans replied, "Okay, then. Time to go back inside-"

A carriage was heard approaching the entrance of Roswaal Mansion, as everyone looked. The carriage stops by them after a minute, revealing to be Crusch, the androgynous Ferris and their butler Wilhelm.

"Everyone, we saw something bright that spread the entire kingdom for a second, and then suddenly we were received word that something changed in the kingdom! What caused this?", Crusch alerted Emilia.

The lord of chaos, watching this, nervously said to the readers via still-recording video; "_**I forgot some people haven't heard of this modern life too. Maybe they closed their eyes?**_"

"My friend here did it. He's a visitor from another world...?", Emilia said, introducing Discord.

Crusch asked, "Who the heck are you?", glaring.

Ferris comes over to look at the draconequus, his neko ears twitching cutely; "He looks good for a creature."

"Ahem, a draconequus?", Discord corrected, "By the way, I'm Discord. And you must be the royal Crusch Karsten, the honorable female knight Ferris whose also named Felix, and your butler is Wilhelm, named after the famous Wilhelm Scream in media."

Crusch and Felix staggered, "How did you know our names? You know us?"

"Somehow, I do. Maybe cursed with knowledge?", the draconequus continued, "I also believe...are you two are in a relationship with...Emilia?"

The excuse made Emilia have shivers up to her head, embarrassing her to the point of blushing.

The half-elf excused, "Yes."

"Oh. Great then. You have two girlfriends. Equality's good. My friends back home are lesbians.", fined the lord of chaos.

Ferris (Felix) told him, "But I'm a boy."

"WHAAAAT?", roared Discord to Felix, "A BOY?! SHUT UP! How come some girls look like boys and boys look like girls?! You are a boy!", turning to Roswaal, "Roswaal for god's sakes looks like a girl because of his makeup!"

Roswaal clears his throat, "I'm not a girl, I'm a boy. I wear this makeup because I am part of royalty, and I live with it! Were you expecting someone else?"

"No. It's just...confusing how Ferris here looks like a boy!", apologized the draconequus, "Sorry.", before turning to the readers via video; "_**That came out of me, my apologies. So now Emilia has a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I favor that ship to the MAX!**_"

Crusch sarcastically asked, "You were saying?", to Discord.

"I just made some modern advancements that turns the entire kingdom into a medieval modern society with technology, new stuff, restaurants and energy uses with electricity and fuels. Like my state-of-the-art car over there, the only thing that uses fuel. I came here because of Emilia's message to spend time with you guys.", explains the lord of chaos, snapping his fingers to summon new iPhone X and iPhone 11 packs (with chargers and optional headphones) to the eight Lugnicans, "Here's some phones to make you happy.", generously.

Emilia confused as she looks at the phone she was given to, "What is this?"

"An iPhone X! You can contact anybody, watch videos, listen to music, play games, look up the Internet, and furthermore so on.", instructed Discord, before telling the readers, "_**Now they're getting a hold of new phones in brand-new technology. Modernity's taken to a whole new level!**_"

Ram and Rem said, "How do we use it?", holding their phones.

"Fully charged, just turn it on by the top button!", said the draconequus.

"Then what?"

"It'll activate. It's your phones afterwards too."

"But other than phones, how about-"

"Already widespread in kingdoms, including mansions. Welcome to the modern technological life.", the lord of chaos says, "L-U-G-N-I-C-A! Lugnica Forever!"

Emilia sighed, "This is gonna be the start of a new lifestyle."

"Indeed. We're gonna get along, you, your friends and I.", Discord funnily said, nogging Emilia's head, "New Lugnica! Here we go!"

Yes, Discord has started a new stay at Lugnica. New technology, new lifestyles, and new outbursts waiting to come.

It was beginning the start of a new stay for Discord in another world. With a bunch of brand new friends he would spend time with.

As long as he doesn't lose his temper.


	2. Hop on Top!

**Note: This chapter will be split into two parts, focusing on the ****Hop on Top challenge (based on Jimmy Kimmel's Hop on Pop challenge) that Emilia decides to do, taking place after the prologue on two nights.**

**Plot (Part 1): Taking place the night of the day Discord met Emilia and her friends, and revolutionized modernity that integrated in Lugnica (explained in the prologue), Emilia heard of a challenge by an OC Lugnican broadcaster named Adelina Starfall, called the Hop on Top, and Emilia decides to answer the challenge that could lead to a dire consequence...**

**Plot (Part 2): Taking place the following night after the events of Part 1, Emilia does the challenge again (due to an extended challenge run to the next day) to finish the job for a second time, but leads to even worse mishaps than before...**

* * *

**PART 1**

It was midnight.

Emilia, Crusch and Ferris (the latter two who decide to visit the mansion for the week with Wilhelm), all came to Discord's bedroom (the one he was in last chapter) with the former holding a ladder.

In the dark room, Crusch and Ferris dimmed the lights on a bit in the bedroom, while Emilia sets up the ladder in front of Discord's queen-sized bed.

Emilia turns to the two other girls and nods, completing preparation.

"Hop on top!", Emilia said out loud when the lights turn on, before jumping off the top of the ladder and bellyflopping onto the bed, abruptly waking Discord up!

Discord jolts, "AAAH! Goddamn!", gasping as Crusch and Ferris look in shock at what Emilia just did.

She broke the bed.

"The bed! I broke the bed!", worried Emilia, as Discord snaps his fingers to summon his baseball bat again, causing her to scream in fright.

The draconequus berates, "You broke my goddamn bed!"

"I-I'm sorry!", apologized Emilia.

The lord of chaos swore, "What the fuck?"

"I broke the bed!", the half-elf said, getting off the bed.

Discord angered, "YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN BED! You motherfucking son of a bitch! You broke my goddamn bed!", preparing to use his baseball bat again.

"I broke the bed! I'm sorry!", says Emilia, Discord still on the bed but unable to get up.

The draconequus exclaimed, "What the hell, I can't even get off my bed!", while Emilia covers her mouth in shock by the mistake she had done, "You big motherfu-"

"Wait, wait, wait! It can be fixed!", examined the half-elf.

The lord of chaos then ignored, "You broke my goddamn bed, you mother-", as Emilia hides inside the closet door.

"Wait, Discord!", Emilia said.

Discord asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Adelina Starfall said to do it!"

"Who?!"

"Adelina Starfall, said to do Hop on Top challenge!"

"FUCK Adele Starlight...! FUCK HER! **SHE OWES ME A GODDAMN BED!**"

"Wait, I'm sorry!"

"...YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN BED, **YOU FAT FUCK!**", berated Discord, Emilia hiding back in the closet as he hit the latter the half-elf placed earlier to the ground, "Look at what you did!"

Emilia said while still inside the closet, "Okay, hold on. I'm sorry, that's final. Can we fix it?"

"You BROKE it!", exclaims the draconequus in shock, before coming to the closet door and knocking it violently, "Come on now! COME ON, FATBOY! I'm not afraid of you or Adele Starlights! Come on!"

The half-elf apologizes once again, "Discord, I'm sorry!"

"That goddamn...Adele Starlight. What does Adelina Starfall's got to do with it?", wondered the lord of chaos.

She replied, "She said to do a thing...a challenge for people called Hop on Top."

"Well, Adelina Starlights owes me a FUCKING bed! ...And **YOU**...!", yelled Discord.

Emilia said, "Can we just look at it, then? And put that down."

"I ain't putting the bat down.", the draconequus said, before he used the bat to whack the soft mattress of his damaged bed, "Fuck you, Emilia! And damn you, Adelina Starfall! I hate you! Damn you, DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

The half-elf sighs, "Okay..."

"Get out of my house!", the lord of chaos ordered.

Emilia corrected, "_Your_ house? This isn't your home, it's Roswaal's. And _I_ am one of the people residing in this mansion, thank you very much! And I didn't-"

"I don't care! GET OUT!"

"I didn't really mean it-"

"Get out!"

"I'll just go back to my room, but I don't know what you'll do when I go by you-"

"**GET OOOUT!**"

"I'm going to walk by you-"

"Get out, and take your Adelina Starfall with you."

"If you just put the bat down, I will get out.", Emilia situates, before getting out of the closet, "You know what, let's see what happened to your bed, then."

Discord, Ferris and Crusch nods, "Alright.", as Emilia and Discord help check the bed, the former saying, "The thing is, I believe it didn't break."

"Oh my god, you bi- Oh my god, Emilia...", Discord groans in disappointment as the four saw that the bed's frame broke in half due to what happened, "You fat son of a bitch, you broke the whole motherfucker."

The half-elf angrily said, "Don't blame me, I've been always healthy and fit with a great diet habit! Been losing a bit of weight for the past months."

"Oh my god.", disbelieved Ferris and Crusch, while Emilia started giggling to this mishap, the two girlfriends joining in.

Emilia smiled, "I'm sorry. I didn't expect that to happen. I'm afraid you're gonna have to- I'm sorry!"

"That's alright. All it needs is a bit of my magic and then, we're good. I accept your apology, for now.", the draconequus calmly said, snapping his fingers and magically replacing the broken bed frame with a new one, with all mattresses, pillows and blanket back in place.

Ferris said in amazement, "Wow. You really are a magician."

"Or a magical being from another universe, I presume.", Crusch wisely said.

Emilia stretched, "Well, then...we'll be best on our way back to bed. We're tired. See you in the morning."

"All right, then. Good night. And bye!", the lord of chaos said happily before switching to irritating behavior and going back to sleep.

The half-elf sighs, "What a tempermental.", as she, Crusch and Ferris leave the room, turning off the lights and letting Discord sleep...

* * *

**PART 2**

The next night, midnight once again.

It appears that Adelina Starfall's challenge has been extended to another day as it has been given another opportunity to trend around the newly-modernized land.

Emilia, Crusch and Ferris return to Discord's bedroom with the same ladder from last time, but this time at a different angle.

They turned off the lights again, the half-elf sets up the ladder near the queen-sized bed once again, and the three prepare to do the challenge on Discord again, just for fun and for the last time, hopefully not to break the bed again.

Or they might, by accident.

Emilia gave nods to her two girlfriends as the lights turned on again, saying out loud, "Hop on top!"

This time, Discord slowly woke up as Emilia got his attention.

"Hey, Discord."

"Wha...?"

"Look at me, hop on top."

Emilia leaps off the ladder and bellyflops on the bed again, Discord's realization sounding with a few loud gasps. The girl felt pain on her legs by the impact afterwards.

"You big stup-", Discord drowsily said.

Emilia realizes in happiness, "Hey, your bed didn't break this time at least.", getting up as she started bouncing the bed in enjoyment.

"What the hell are you doing?! What the-", the draconequus exclaims, trying to get off the bed.

The half-elf bounced and harmoniously said, "Hop on top! Hop on top!", but when she bounced hard one time...

**SNAP!**

Emilia stumbles back on the bed as the two felt something break in the bed, Crusch and Ferris yelping in startlement.

"You mother...!", swore the lord of chaos, checking under the bed thanks to his long neck.

Emilia said in shock as she covers her mouth again, "Oh...!"

"You broke my goddamn bed again!", growled Discord after checking under.

The half-elf nevertheless got up again and continues to bounce the bed, saying, "Hop on top, hop on top..."

"What the hell are you...!?", gasped the draconequus as he felt many bounces by Emilia.

The girl cheerfully finished, "**Hop on TOP!**", jumping hard on the bed.

**CRACK!**

Hearing this, Emilia stopped bouncing at last, realizing, "Oh! I heard something crack..."

"**YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN BED!**", screeched Discord in anger, causing Emilia to almost get off the bed but slips back onto the mattress.

She shrieks for a moment as she saw Discord snap his fingers and summon his baseball bat again with his powers, making Emilia move to the bed's headboard area.

Instead of assault, he uses his bat to whack the bedknobs, causing Ferris and Crusch to scream shortly and wrecking the bed even more.

The draconequus yelled, "I'LL BREAK IT MORE!", smacking one bedknob clean off like an axe to a tree, saying, "I'LL BREAK IT MORE, GODDAMN MORE!", whacking the other bedknob in a few hits.

"Wait, NO, don't!", Emilia gasped.

The lord of chaos ranted, "I'll break it more, goddamn more!", before smacking the already-whacked bedknob and crookening the bed with one half laying on the floor. Emilia gasps once again and looks at Discord in shock, while he yells at her, "**Get your ass off my goddamn bed!**"

In a few moments as Discord was continuously wrecking the bed, the half-elf asked him, "What did you do this for?"

"YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN BED! YEAH! You can have it, holy heavens! Man, you broke it! Oh, damn, you have it!", Discord roared as he wrecks the bed, making the bed go to the floor completely with Emilia still on it, "You hear me?! You broke my goddamn bed!", he also said as he threw a broken piece of the bed at Emilia.

She pleads, "Stop! I'll talk!", getting off the bed as she groans, "Oh, it's ruined now!"

"NOW I AIN'T GOT NO BED!", angrily said the draconequus and blames Emilia, with her, Crusch and Ferris silent for the moment, "**I GOTTA HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE GODDAMN _FLOOR!_**"

Emilia tried to hold her laughter, saying, "Oh my goodness... Honestly, I blame Starfall...but we were gonna surprise you, we bought you a new frame-"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY! **Get out of my way!**", venomously growled the lord of chaos to both Ferris and Crusch, threatening them with his trusty bat.

The half-elf explains, "Discord...we were buying you a new frame for the bed earlier today, for underneath it!", as Discord ignored, tossing a piece of the broken bed away; he then starts hitting the headboard's bedknobs as Emilia continued telling him, "Stop!", as the draconequus slams one of the bedknobs on the headboard off it's hinges, "Oh my god...you alright?"

"You need to get out of my house! You better!", Discord gibberishly said, looking at the broken bed before berating once again, "**NOW I AIN'T GOT NO GODDAMN BED, YOU SON OF A BITCH!**"

Emilia then says after a few moments of silence, "Okay..."

"I'm tired!", says the draconequus as he rubbed his eyes, as he decides to go back to sleep on his now-broken bed, before yelling to the three girls, "TURN THE LIGHT OFF!", as the girls do so, watching him mutter angrily to himself as he goes back to sleep, since Discord wasn't in a good mood for him to fix his bed right away.

The half-elf yawned and sighed, "This is gonna be a long night...so tempermental.", as she, Ferris and Crusch all left the room again.

Discord did have a hard time sleeping that night.


	3. Discord vs Dunkin' Donuts

**Plot: One morning in Roswaal Mansion, Discord calls Dunkin' Donuts in a rage when he finds out that the doughnuts he bought don't have enough jelly filled in them.**

It was a peaceful morning in Roswaal Mansion.

Emilia sleeps peacefully in her bedroom with her spirit Puck sleeping in mid-air by Emilia's side.

**SLAM!**

That is, until Discord slams the bedroom door open, waking up Emilia and Puck.

"GAAAH!", Emilia jolted awake, startled by the loud noise; "Discord?!"

The draconequus said, "I've got donuts! Sorry for the wake-up call."

"That's okay. Next time, don't slam the door open like that.", Emilia sighs.

Puck interested on the other hand, "Donuts? Does that sound exquisite. What kinds?"

"Assorted, actually. Got a pack of sixteen for you, me, Puck, Ram, Rem, Beatrice and Roswaal. Flavours include Strawberry Frosted, Vanilla Frosted, Oreo Moment, Boston Cream, Honey Dipped, Sugar Glazed and especially Jelly.", the Lord of Chaos continued.

The half-elf tilted her head, "From where?"

"Dunkin' Donuts, of course! Only 5 kilometers away from here. Only cost me $10 for a 16-donut pack."

"Gee, looks and sounds pretty delicious to me."

"If it's not a bother, maybe I could take the first donut and leave the rest for you and your friends while I could have my second?"

"Why not? After all, it's time for breakfast. Does donuts count as breakfast though?"

"At times, yes.", Discord answered, placing the box of donuts on Emilia's table, opening the box to show the delicious assortment of the dozen donuts.

Puck amazed, "Whoa...the sugar ones look mouthwatering..."

"Which one will you pick?", Emilia told Discord.

The draconequus said as he picked up one of the jelly donuts from the box, "I'm taking one of the jelly donuts. Look pretty tasty!", before taking a bite.

But he noticed something strange with the taste.

There wasn't enough jelly.

After taking his first bite and swallowing, the Lord of Chaos exclaimed, "What the fuck?", as he looked at the bitten donut, seeing only a small pocket of jelly inside the donut.

"What's wrong?", Emilia and Puck ask.

Discord told them, "We're going to investigate this.", tearing the bitten jelly donut in half to see if there was more jelly, but there wasn't. He then inqueried, "That's a jelly donut...?", before bursting out, "_Dunkin' Donuts, what the fuck is wrong with you?!_"

"What do you mean? Is there something wrong with the jelly donut?", Emilia cautiously said.

The draconequus stated, "Yes, maybe it's the motherfucker who cooked the donuts! He should've done it right! Hire some more help!"

"There must be a mistake. Maybe they ran out of-", the half-elf presumed.

The Lord of Chaos finished for Emilia, "Jelly? Yeah! They should buy some more fucking jelly! Damn!", before putting the remainder of the jelly donut in his mouth and eating it, "It's stale! Not even a good smell, nothing!", continuing to eat his _stale_ jelly donut.

The silver-haired girl thought over this and guessed, "Was it that they didn't put enough jelly? Or did they run out? I think they were probably running out of jelly, but..."

"Fuck Dunkin' Donuts.", irritated Discord out of annoyance, "I'd tell them it sucks! Goddamn...", before he finished his donut.

The draconequus then starts taking out his phone as Emilia and Puck notice.

Emilia rose an eyebrow, "What are you doing?"

"I'm calling Dunkin' Donuts.", the Lord of Chaos replied.

Puck suspiciously said, "Please don't tell me what we think you're doing...", as Discord manages to call the restaurant chain.

"Is this Dunkin' Donuts?", Discord asked on the phone, "My name is Discord! I-I've got a question- I've got a question for you! I just bought some goddamn donuts from y'all, alright...and I bought some jelly donuts- AND THERE WEREN'T NO GODDAMN JELLY!", with this sudden outburst startling Emilia and Puck, "Did you wave the donuts across the damn jelly jar and say it's a jelly donut?"

Emilia and Puck wait for the next response.

The draconequus argued on the phone with Dunkin' Donuts, "Well, you didn't shoot enough! You didn't shoot enough jelly in that motherfucker!", before reaching inside the box of donuts to pick out another jelly donut, "Goddamn, I'm looking at it right now!", taking another bite in the other donut, only to find that it was the same as the first jelly donut; "**Another one!** NO GODDAMN JELLY IN THE MOTHERFUCKER!"

Puck couldn't help but snicker quietly to this moment, with Emilia glaring at him for a second while Discord throws the second stale jelly donut on the table.

"You dumb bitch!", angrily said the Lord of Chaos on the phone, "You need to suck my dick!"

Emilia felt extremely horrified as she puts her hands on her mouth in shock.

Discord nevertheless then said, "You need to start putting more jelly in the motherfuckers! You gotta understand me! ...When I want a jelly donut, and when I pay y'all what? $1.50 for a fucking donut? I PUT JELLY THERE, MOTHERFUCKER! **...YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!** _I PUT JELLY IN THERE, MOTHERFUCKER!_", throwing the chair at Emilia's table aside, shocking Emilia and Puck.

The half-elf scolded, "Hey, be careful with that!"

"I- No, rea- Sir! Y'all listen to me!", ignored Discord, continuing to argue with Dunkin' Donuts, "What do I have to get livid for? _**The Beatles?!**_"

Puck gets the reference as he tried holding in his laugh but couldn't help it, "The Beatles?!", laughing his head off.

"Who?", Emilia said, not having heard of the band before.

Discord simply said to Emilia, "It's a band I've heard of back in my own world.", resuming to Dunkin' Donuts on the phone, "But get your motherfucking shit together, people!", as Emilia and Puck wait again for his next response, "Yeah, give me your fucking manager!"

"Oh, shit...", Puck gasps in surprise, "He's gonna talk to the manager...", seeming to like where this was going.

The draconequus settles back down after grabbing and putting the chair back by the table, sitting down to negotiate on the phone, "I bought some jelly do- What's your name? Wilson? You sound like a wilson. I'll call you Wilson anyway. Look, Wilson, I bought some donuts today... No, you let me talk. AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! ...I bought some jelly donuts...a-a-and there ain't no jelly in them motherfuckers! Why want more donuts if you got no jelly in 'em? When I want a jelly donut, I bite that motherfucker, let the jelly run down my mouth and face...along with the taste in my tongue..."

Emilia and Puck look at each other in confusion and caution.

"...Yeah, you're right- I 'll go to Krispy Kreme next time! _**They give me jelly in these donuts!**_", considers the Lord of Chaos when talking on the phone with the Dunkin' Donuts manager, "They're even cheap motherfuckers like y'all! Eh- Don't call me sir, okay? Now, how are we gonna rectify the situation? ...I need you to kiss my fat ass, bitch.", angrily saying this during the call.

Both the half-elf and the spirit look utterly shocked by the rising tension Discord was causing during the call, while Puck then said to Emilia quietly as he tries to hold in his upcoming laughter, "Discord is pissed over jelly in a donut!"

"I'm telling you now, your goddamn donuts ain't got no fucking jelly... I'm looking at the motherfucker right now...", Discord clarified, grabbing the bitten second donut that had not much jelly in it, with him taking another bite out of it, "I'm eating it right now...", looking at the donut which still had not much jelly inside, "There ain't no- Look at this, Emilia.", showing the half-elf and her spirit the donut he had taken a bite out of, proceeding with the call, "Why would I go back and waste gas? I legitimately went out to get breakfast and despite the other donuts I've gotten, the jelly donuts are the only issue-", before gibberishly arguing with the manager on the phone for a moment, "I didn't even buy or try the goddamn cream cakes. Probably got no cream in them motherfuckers either!", finally then deciding to hang up as he sighs.

Emilia, looking at her spirit Puck again, then slowly approaches Discord in a worry, saying, "Discord? Are you alright-"

"BACK YOUR GODDAMN SELVES OFF!", raged the draconequus, due to all the inconvenience caused from the jelly donut mishap. He then grabs the box of donuts as he then opens the lid.

The half-elf sighed, "Just relax.", as Discord grabs a Boston Cream donut from the 16-pack box, tearing part of it to examine more evidence of it having not much cream; "There's nothing in this."

"Yeah, look how little it is!", proves the Lord of Chaos, "I mean, what the fuck is this? I'mma redial these motherfuckers."

Puck snickered to his partner, "I have never seen someone get so pissed off over donuts!", giggling.

* * *

The next moment, Discord redials Dunkin' Donuts, but haven't recieved a pick-up call yet; "Well, goddamn, aren't they gonna answer the PHONE?"

"Be patient!", argued Emilia.

He replies, "Sorry. They just really need to answer their goddamn phone...", before finally recieving the pick-up call from Dunkin' Donuts, "_My, about goddamn time you answered the phone!_ I just called there a minute ago, I talked to your- I mean, Wilson? ...Well, I-I-I-I-I- Can I talk to Wilson again...? ...Is this Wilson? Hey, Wilson; I've just got through another fucking donut, the Boston Cream one, right? ...Well, **there ain't no creamy shit!** Most of the other donuts were great, but the rest of them sucked! You ain't put enough cream in that motherfucker! **And I believe the goddamn chocolate must've taste like _shit!_** ...I go- You're right- I don't give a fuck for the _blueberry up my ass_ or something! ...Your boys ain't shit! They don't now how to put the jelly in the fucking donut! ...They can't even put the goddamn chocolatety cream in the goddamn Boston Cream! If the Boston Cream is brown or black, then why are the other donuts white?"

Emilia and Puck gasp to this part while they listen to Discord's conversation.

"I call- I bought my donuts from you... So you motherfucker aren't gonna call... And your goddamn coffee sucks too! Your goddamn coffee tastes motherfucking better! I don't know why I have dealt with this motherfucking shit before!", the draconeqqus ranted as he walked over to a vase in the room and threw it across the room, shattering it!

Puck was shocked and felt immense amounts of laughter, "Oh my god...!"

"My vase!", scolded the half-elf, horrified by the sudden vase destruction.

The lord of chaos continued his rant, "I don't know why I goddamn come to y'all!", grabbing the chair at the table and toppling it over in anger.

"He is freaking out over a donut!", Puck unfazed.

Emilia cautiously asked, upset; "Are you almost done? I don't want you to destroy my room!"

Discord ignored and continued, "Now you ain't got no donuts, what the fuck? So goddamn it!", grabbing the same table chair and throwing it across the room too but not damaging it, "Take your donuts, take it up your motherfucking ass! You hear me?!", as he then tugs a curtain which causes it to fall down, "**YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? You son of a bitch, you hear me! Take your donuts! Stick it up your fucking ass!**", before Discord then grabs the box of donuts and throws it at the room door, splattering all the donuts onto the door and soiling them!

"THE DONUTS!", Emilia and Puck said in horror.

The draconequus finished, "**FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU AND YOUR DONUTS! Fuck you! They're lousy anyway, good-fucking-bye!**", before hanging up for the last time. He then takes deep breaths after the long rant, before seeing the splattered donuts at the door, its delicacy secretions seeping from them and running down the door surface, "What did I just do...?"

"What do you mean? You just trashed my whole room! What are you gonna say for yourself?", Emilia said, freaking out.

The lord of chaos simply told, "Fuck Dunkin' Donuts.", before stating, "But don't worry, I can handle this.", as he then snaps his fingers, a bright light engulfing the room.

Seconds later, Emilia looks around her room, seeing that the vase has been fixed and put back in its normal place, the chair was put back at the table, and the donuts that splattered on the door as well as the box that came with it vanished.

"Whoa...", Emilia and Puck said, the former responding, "You...fixed it..."

Discord shrugs, "That's why I simply do whenever arguments or commotions like this happen. Usually I do this sometimes when I was at Ever After High."

"That's good. But seriously? Over donuts?", complains Puck, "I may be powerful, but even I don't have the power to magically turn messes back to normal with just a snap of a finger."

The draconequus answers, "All I can say is, I can manipulate reality. For the greater good."

"The donuts...they're gone. They're ruined... What happened?", the half-elf noticed, saddened.

The lord of chaos informed, "Donuts were terrible. So basically I got rid of them myself. You know, after that call, I don't think we should go to Dunkin' Donuts for a while. And to make it up to you guys, I'll go get some more. You like Krispy Kreme? It's kind of closer to here anyway. You can come if you want."

"Well...for the sake of breakfast and hearing that you'd make it up for what happened, I can't see why not.", agrees the silver-white-haired girl, faintly smiling.

Puck joked, "They better have some sugar donuts there. My cravings are at its peak."

"Don't start that again.", Emilia said, rolling her eyes and smiling.

Discord couldn't help but smile as well, as he led Emilia and Puck to go get some more delicious donuts from Krispy Kreme.

No point wasting a good breakfast.


	4. Discord vs ENCHANTV

**Plot: Discord calls ENCHANTV in the midst of learning there were some shows or channels that aren't available on their service...**

One day when Discord was surfing through the TV channels, he discovers that there were none of his favorite shows and channels weren't available on their cable provider. That was when he decided to go to Emilia for some help.

Knocking on her room's door, Discord then sees Emilia, Ferris and Puck a few moments later, the girl opening her door.

"Discord! What's happening?", Emilia kindly said.

Discord says, "I need to talk. Something's wrong with our TV provider."

"What's the problem?", Ferris asked for his girlfriend.

The draconequus discussed, "None of the shows and channels that my other TV provider has isn't on ENCHANTV. I might have to give a call and deal with this."

"Like what channels?", the half-elf sighed.

The lord of chaos said, "Nickelodeon, MTV, Comedy Central, Discovery Family, even Spike TV! Not relating to my friend back in Equestria."

"So I assume they might've removed them or maybe an expiration notice?", figuratively said Puck.

Discord sighs, "I don't know. That is why I need to talk to them now."

"Look, I know I now have a TV in my room too, but what's the deal?", Emilia questioned.

He answers, "Ram and Rem have been watching Nickelodeon, Roswaal's been watching a bit of Comedy Central, and I've been watching Spike TV and Discovery Family, even though one of the shows on my channel had myself in it! I can't go on without seeing these shows again!", before he pulls out his phone and dialed the cable company, sitting down at the same table from the other day.

"Whatever. Just don't destroy my room like last time, with the donuts...", hoped the half-elf.

The draconequus promises, "I won't, don't you worry. Sorry about the other day by the way. Dunkin' Donuts sucks."

"Better be.", muttered Puck non-purposely, "This isn't gonna end well by the end of the call..."

The lord of chaos' call then was picked up as Discord says, "...Is this ENCHANTV? ...You're name's Tatiana? Tatiana, okay. I want your goddamn complaint department! **...No, I don't want to talk to you! I want to talk to your complaint department!**"

"Be polite, Discord! Geez!", Emilia and Ferris uneased.

He states, "**PLEASE!** **Please**, _please_; I said please! I said please, goddamn it! ...Thank you!"

"That's what I wanted to hear...", the silver-white-haired girl impressed, looking to her androgynous neko boyfriend.

The spirit whispers to his partner, "I'm afraid this is gonna go on for a while."

* * *

Discord continues the call with ENCHANTV, "...Okay, this is customer service, right? You understand I can talk English? ...What are you talking? You talk shit.", which surprises Emilia, Ferris and Puck to the response, "...I'm sorry, I-I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look, I- _I wouldn't shut up if you'd listen to me!_ **I got a goddamn problem with y'all! **Y'all don't have...MTV! I like the rock and roll, and I can't even watch it now! Y'all don't have Nick! **WHAT THE FUCK ARE MY FRIENDS RAM AND REM GOTTA GODDAMN WATCH?! WHAT ARE THEY GONNA WATCH!?**"

This outburst shocks Emilia, Ferris and Puck.

"**Let me tell you one-** Wait, no, I'm talking... You don't have Discovery Family! I'm in one of their shows, and you took it off! Do y'all have a goddamn pr- I'M TALKING! I'm a customer, and I get the talk! You don't have Spike TV! ...I'll call your ass right back to you, bitch! Y-y-you don't have Spike TV! Uh, 1000 Ways to Die! I LOVE THAT SHOW! And sorry, for talking this way! I TALK LOUD! **HEY! _SHUT THE FUCK UP!_**", the draconequus argued.

Puck gasps and found this a bit amusing, "Oh my god!"

"...Yeah, explain to me the goddamn situation. Now I explain to you my situation...", the lord of chaos calmly says.

Silence ensues.

Discord then outbursted again, "YOU LOST THE CHANNELS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANNA PAY ALL THE MONEY YOU FUCKING WANT, YOU GODDAMN CHEAP SONS OF BITCHES!"

"You know, he and customer service will never mesh well together.", Puck commented to Emilia.

The draconequus then noticed, "OH MY GOD! YOU TOOK AWAY SOUTH PARK! You took away Comedy Central! You know what, I'll call back, motherfucker. And you shut up, goddamn!", arguing to customer service on the phone.

* * *

"Goddamn.", the lord of chaos sighs, redialing the phone again to make another call to customer service; "...hurry the fuck up!"

Emilia told, "Patience!"

"...I got a complaint...y'all took off- Motherfucker, just shut up. I got a question. Why did y'all take off my god damn NICKELODEON? You know what it's like with two girls that like to watch Spongebob?! They started watching the show, and it looks amazing... I got no more goddamn- What are they gonna watch...", Discord says before he was given a transfer during his call much to his annoyance.

Ferris wondered, his cat ears twitching, "What happened?"

"Transferred my call.", he replied.

Puck said in realization, "They transferred you? I presume in the way in which they switch callers?"

"I'm getting ready to blow, guys. I'm getting pissed...", the draconequus facepalms before waiting for the next response on the phone, "...Yeah, I got a goddamn complaint! I wanna know why you took off my Discovery Family? Why did you take off my Discovery Family!? I got two friends, I GOT TWO GODDAMN TWIN GIRLS, _THEY LOVE GODDAMN SPONGEBOB!_ ...No, fuck you! You took off my goddamn Comedy Central! YOU TOOK OFF **SOUTH PAAAAAAAAAAARK!**"

Emilia, Ferris and Puck were speechless to this part.

The lord of chaos argues furthermore, "Give or take one goddamn thing, motherfucker, I'll come find out where the hell you at, I'll come down there... Hey, you better listen to me, alright? You're gonna get my goddamn word out! Now...I'm trying to do this, okay- Motherfucker..."

"What now?", groans Emilia.

Discord told them, "Hung up on me.", before redialing, "Doesn't matter."

"I would scared to be on customer service with Discord, honestly.", considered Puck, "Customer service must be useless these days."

The draconequus glares at the spirit, "Yeah, yeah...", before he waited for his next call to be picked up.

"Try to be more calm this time.", taught the half-elf.

The lord of chaos nodded, "I'll try.", before calling the cable company, "...Hi, how are you today? ...Can I make my complaint at the complaint department? ...Thank you."

"He's gonna blow.", predicted Emilia's partner spirit, who likes where this was about to go.

Discord then communicated through the call, "...Hi, ENCHANTV, can I make a complaint? I'd like to know why- I would like to know why you don't have Nickelodeon, and why you don't have Comedy Central, and why you don't have Discovery Family, and why you don't have Spike TV, and TV- TV...", as a moment of silence ensues; "...Okay, but...was it because you don't support Viacom because they were sort of tired of being held by terrorists?"

The end of his last sentence made Emilia, Puck and Ferris gasp.

"What are you, goddamn bunch of terrorists?! Terrorists! As if you got back down, over there in the Middle East, trying to goddamn hold us hostage! Why are you holding my friends hostage? They cannot watch Nickelodeon- They cannot watch Nickelodeon! THEY CANNOT WATCH** GODDAMN COMEDY CENTRAL _ANYMOOORE!_** ...Let me tell you something! You are un-Lugnican! You are a piece of garbage, because you don't care about goddamn people! Look, you don't care about people over here don't have money to really pay for this shit! What the hell? You're holding us goddamn hostage! I'm not from Lugnica, but I am a goddamn being and I being hold hostage by a goddamn TV, so my goddamn twin friends can watch Nickelodeon so I can look at MTV and Discovery Family! You know the hell you talking to, buddy? You know the hell you talking to? I'm on one of Discovery Family's shows, one of the best cartoons of the last decade! But...I am Discord, motherfucker! And I'm gonna do a goddamn blog on you! I'm gonna blow you out of the fucking water! I'm gonna get you to your goddamn boss!", ranted the draconequus, as he started toppling Emilia's table chair again which shocks the other three in the room, "I swear to god I am!"

Emilia quickly said, "Don't!", as she, Ferris and Puck watch Discord wander in the room as he ranted.

"I've got a goddamn army! I got a goddamn army!", the lord of chaos proved.

Puck snickered to Emilia, "What army? The Discord army?", as he witnessed Discord's ongoing rant.

"You know what? Fuck your goddamn network! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! Calm down, my goddamn ass! I'll show you calm down! I'll show you goddamn calm down!", berated the lord of chaos as he threw the table chair across the room again, not breaking it once again, "I'll show you calm down, you son of a bitch!"

The half-elf gasped, "Be careful with that!", Ferris startled as well.

"Oh my god!", Puck also said.

"Get me back my Nickelodeon and those other channels or I swear to GOD! THE ARMY HAS CALLED OUT ON YOU! **YOU HEAR ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH?! FUCK! YOU!**", Discord concluded, who then hangs up on ENCHANTV, "...I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to blow like that. Just...fuck ENCHANTV."

Puck enjoyed what has happened, "Epic."

"You think?", Ferris asked nicely to Emilia's artifical spirit.

Emilia then scolded, "Seriously? A few of their channels were removed, what would you do now?"

"I guess...", the draconequus sighed, "...it's a good thing I have Xfinity."

Ferris curiously asked with his neko ears twitching again, "Xfinity?"

"Yeah, it's better than the other service. Has about more channels than the other one has. Including the ones that weren't on ENCHANTV. I just happen to have several spare cable boxes from Comcast in my closet back in my room.", the lord of chaos said.

The half-elf then asked, "Wait...you have Xfinity? We don't even tried or known what it is yet."

"Well, yeah. I am the lord of chaos after all. I'm able to summon stuff including the modern-day stuff I introduced to the kingdom, including television. Luckily I can plug the Xfinity box to my TV instead of my ENCHANTV cable box, and then give one for you, the twins, Beatrice and Roswaal. I can even give Ferris one as a special gift for him and Crusch.", explains Discord.

Puck smiled, "How generous of you."

"Thank you!", Ferris gladly said, his neko ears perking up when hearing about the special cable box gift.

Emilia massages her head, "But how are you able to afford all this stuff?"

"Magical powers. Sort of like how a genie does it.", the draconequus pointed out, "But, yeah. I can still use currency to buy some stuff."

The half-elf then situates, "Alright then. That was all you complained for today?", as she comes over to the toppled table chair and puts it back into place by her table.

"Yeah, that's everything.", the lord of chaos confirmed.

Emilia awkwardly said, "Well, uh... Thanks for dropping by. Gonna go hang out with Ferris for a while longer, okay?"

"Okay.", nodded Discord, before he left the room.

For some people, television may be bad, but it does leave good surprises in somedays.

Today was one of them.


	5. Discord Destroys Kitchen (Pt 1)

**Plot: The first of a kitchen-set two-parter. Discord has a kitchen meltdown at Roswaal's Mansion that takes out a refrigerator and stove in the process...**

**(Part 1 of 2)**

One morning at Roswaal's mansion, Discord was in the kitchen with Roswaal, Ram and Rem after they all had breakfast. Emilia, that day, was away visiting her sweethearts for the day at Crusch and Ferris' place.

After Discord had brought modern stuff to Lugnica, the kitchen was one of the mansion's rooms that has been partially renovated. The grey brick walls were still intact, but most of the kitchen equipment in the room had been replaced with modern everyday appliances. A refrigerator was set on one side of the room while an stove oven resided in the middle of the kitchen beside the kitchen sink, a microwave and toaster were between the stove oven and sink, and a kitchen counter in the middle of the kitchen where a hanging pot rack was placed above.

Roswaal was helping out by putting the pots on the hanging pot rack, as Discord proudly said, "You're doing a great job, Roswaal."

"Looking good!", Rem said.

Her twin sister Ram agrees, "So far, so good!", as the lord of the Roswaal mansion neatly finished placing all the pots, spatulas and pans on the hanging pot rack.

"There. The kitchen has now been remodeled.", Roswaal cynically smiled.

The blue-haired oni maid looks around the kitchen with her pink-haired twin sister, "Sister, sister, this looks good. To be honest, I'll admit that the pot rack wasn't gonna look good in the kitchen."

"Rem, Rem, I just love how Discord introduced some new revolutionary accessories and appliances that are proven very useful and much more easier to use in the kitchen. Takes less time to bake and prepare food, even better than before. And the lighting...my god, does it look breathtaking?", commented the pink-haired maid.

Discord sorts out, "Alright, all that's left is the refridgerator. But...I think I might've chosen the wrong model. Maybe I considered that we could get a new one."

"We'll get it later.", Ram said to him.

The draconequus discussed, "No, no... We've finished cleaning the kitchen, we need to get a new refridgerator today."

"You can't just randomly ask for a new fridge. It's working fine. Besides the kitchen this morning, we now have other stuff to do.", the blue-haired maid stated.

The lord of chaos questions, "Like what?"

"Chores, helping around the mansion...", Ram said for her sister.

Discord fumed, "**I wanna get a new refridgerator today!**"

"We'll get the refridgerator when we get the refridgerator!", Rem told.

Ram asked, "What's wrong with that one?"

"What's wrong with it? Here's what's wrong with it!", the draconequus says, walking to the fridge and opening it, before he starts kicking it, "Look at it, look at it, look at it! Look at it!", as his next kick causes a side shelf to spill bottles and canisters of food onto the floor, none of them breaking as the fridge door closes.

The blue-haired oni girl gasped, "Stop!"

"Look at it! Here's what's wrong with it! Here's what's wrong!", the lord of chaos rants as he opens the fridge again, as he tore off another side shelf as more containers of food spilt onto the floor, "That's what's wrong with the damn thing, it's BROKE! Now let's go get a new refridgerator!"

Rem calmly says to Roswaal, "Roswaal, would it be okay if you help me and my sister pick some of this shit up?", as she watches Discord open the fridge again, "Hey, CHILL!", as the draconequus tries to make an excuse, "GET OUT! GET OUT!"

"I want a new refridgerator today!", Discord said.

Rem angrily yelled, "**You're not getting it!**", as Discord leaves the kitchen momentarily. She looks at the mess as she told, "Sister, Roswaal, can you help? We gotta put these shelves back up.", opening the fridge to see the mess Discord has made on the shelves.

But as Roswaal and Ram come starting cleaning the mess, they heard Discord say;

"I say we get a new refridgerator today."

Rem turns to see Discord, the former then becoming shocked to the inevitable, "WHAT IS THAT?!", seeing that Discord had brought his trusty small metal axe (who had used it back in Ever After)! He walks over to the fridge and starts smashing the bottom row of the fridge where the vegetables and spices resided, before smashing the top two rows which the food (ex. eggs, milk, etc.) collapses to the bottom; "OH MY **GOOODD!**", watching as Discord smashes the bottom again and yanking out a drawer of spices, spilling the herbs and spices all over the place, "Goodness gracious, Discord!", as the lord of chaos opens the freezer door to try wrecking it but to no avail.

After this, the lord of chaos turns to her, "Can I get a refridgerator now?"

"No, you cannot!", the blue-haired girl refuses, facepalming as Discord threw his trusty small metal axe in the fridge, "I'm gonna call the police on you. The Lugnican police, that is."

"For what?"

"FOR THAT!"

"New refridgerator?"

"You're not getting it! ...You know what, I'm gonna go with Ram. There's better stuff we need to do-"

"That fridge is what we need. Now we need a goddamn stove.", scoffs Discord as he then walks over to the stove after getting his small metal axe from the fridge.

Rem sees what was about to happen, as he says; "**Don't do-** **GOODNESS GRACIOUS!**", seeing Discord whack the stove's exterior glass cover with his axe, "STOP IT! Discord, it's time to stop! It ain't breaking, now stop it!", as he then opens the stove and whacks the glass cover from the inside, wrecking it as Rem watches this upsetly; "Gracious, Discord!"

"Now we need a stove. Now we need both. Let's go.", the draconequus fumed, glass from the broken stove glass cover now scattered all over the floor.

A moment of silence ensues, as Roswaal then said in utter shock, "That is just fucking...fucked up."

The lord of chaos walks past Ram and Rem, as he then gives them a raspberry hiss to the twins.

The blue-haired maid disgusted, "Gracious, _I'm sick of this shit with you!_", looking at the mess Discord made, "What the fuck is your problem...?", as he sees him snap his fingers to summon a loudspeaker, "What are you doing...?"

"**I need a new stove! I need a new refridgerator! Let's go!**", Discord spoke through the loudspeaker to Rem, "**...NOW!**"

Rem then was fed up by this as she said, "I'M GO- YOU- TIRED OF THIS!", about to leave the kitchen with Ram and Roswaal.

"Wait.", Discord calmly said, before snapping his fingers as a bright light engulfs the kitchen for a millisecond.

Rem turned around and asked, "What?", to Discord in irritation, before she, Ram and Roswaal were speechless by what they saw.

There was no mess on the floor, the refridgerator was replaced with a new platinum stainless steel, state-of-the-art refridgerator and the stove had not been replaced with a new one, looking very identical to the one Discord had broken, but it had a black color different from the other's silver color. Regardless of the fact that both appliances were replaced with new models, they were nevertheless both fixed.

"You...fixed it...", Ram and Rem both say in unison, awed.

Roswaal noticed, "Strange. You are very peculiar.", cynically interested.

"I should've thought of this sooner.", the draconequus facepalmed, "Sorry for all the trouble that has happened just now."

Rem then said to him, "Yeah, but...all that damage for what? You were completely overreacting. Isn't that right, sister?"

"Rem, I agree. But you managed to make it up for us by not only cleaning up the mess you made and fixing the appliances, but you seemed to get the new ones you wanted.", Ram said to her twin then to Discord.

The lord of chaos nodded and looked down, "If only I wasn't too stressed about it..."

"That's okay. We mean, the appliances do look really good. Plus, it's tidy so that Emilia will come home with a neat cosy home.", Rem and Ram respectfully told him, "So...thanks.", Rem finishing, "But seriously, that was enough rage for today."

Roswaal smirked, "Saying that Discord has a bit of a uncontrollable temper sometimes, I guess that's one thing."

"Okay...there may be another thing I might need help with later on as a dessert delicacy, but...yeah. Enjoy the rest of your day. I'm going back to my room.", Discord sorted out, as he then walked past Ram, Rem and Roswaal, the three watching him calmly go back to his room in the mansion.

But the kitchen mishap was just the first half of a kitchen disaster that day.


	6. Discord's Kitchen Meltdown! (Pt 2)

**Plot: Discord destroys the kitchen yet again when he can't find vanilla to put into his special pumpkin pies for dessert...**

**(Part 2 of 2 - Final)**

Later on that night (the same day when Discord had mistakenly destroyed the refridgerator and stove oven in which he fixed and replaced with new ones), Discord had asked Rem and Ram to come see him prepare the pumpkin pies he's planning to make for dessert.

But unbeknownst to them, he had most of the ingredients needed to make it.

"This is a special recipe here, is it not?", Discord presumed.

Rem nods, "Yes, indeed. It's a culinary dessert delicacy nowadays."

"Okay...lemon juice...", says the draconequus as he grabs a bottle of lemon juice and poured it in the pumpkin pie batter mix.

Ram sees this, "Isn't that a bit too much?"

"I've been wondering, why is it that you keep a container of sugar without a cabinet before I put the new cabinet this morning? The ants might infest the kitchen to get them, right?", the lord of chaos asked Rem.

The blue-haired maid questioned, "What's wrong with it? I'm aware of possible ant infestations, but I wanna make sure it's safe."

"Well, it's a good thing I have brown sugar. That's what you're supposed to use."

"You don't use regular sugar?"

"No, I use brown sugar."

"Sorry to hear that. Must be one and the same either way, but with different flavoring.", Rem assumes, watching Discord put brown sugar in the mix, "Just saying, Discord. It's gonna be very sweet."

Discord chuckled, "You gotta have sweet."

"Not _that_ sweet.", Ram responded.

* * *

Discord then starts looking for something in the cabinets, after not finding it in the mix of ingredients he had on the counter.

"What are you looking for?", Rem asked nicely.

He says, "Vanilla. We can't have the pies if we don't have vanilla."

"Let's make it without it.", the blue-haired girl sorted.

The draconequus blamed, "You probably went to the goddamn store for me!"

"What? I think you had these ingredients in the kitchen, and I've never went to the market today because I've been helping out on the mansion! But the vanilla...", Rem excused as Discord frustratingly slams the cabinet door where he was looking for the vanilla extract, "Chill out a little bit, Discord.", before she searches for the extract.

The lord of chaos said, "Vinegar? Where is it!"

"Just don't use vanilla!", the maid told him.

Discord yells, "I GOTTA HAVE MY DAMN VANILLA! Without vanilla, you got no pie!"

"Chill out, okay? I'll go look for the vanilla, it's not that big of a deal.", Rem deals with the situation, as she then turns away to the cabinet to look for it, "You act like it's the end of the world."

Suddenly, she heard Discord open another cabinet, where the dishes and plates were, nearby.

Ram and Rem watch in shock as Discord looks in the plate cabinet and then tosses a bowl out from it.

"Okay, you better just chillax a bit-", the blue-haired oni girl said before she sees him grabbing a plate from the cabinet, about to destroy it, "DISCORD!"

**SMASH!**

Discord breaks one plate, before he grabs five more from the cabinet and smashes them one by one, leaving and creating a huge mess of porcelain glass shards!

**SMASH!**

"**Oh my god!**", Rem exclaimed, embracing her twin sister Ram, "STOP!", saying this as Discord grabs another plate from the cabinet, unsuccessfully breaking it.

Picking it up again, Discord then angrily throws the plate on the ground, instantaneously shattering into a literal thousand pieces in thin air!

Rem shouts in horror, "**WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!**"

"I told you...", the draconequus berated as he grabs another plate.

Rem pleaded, "STOP!", as he smashed the plate.

"...you gotta have VANILLA!", stormily said the lord of chaos.

The blue-haired girl yells again, "STOP!", as Discord smashes another plate; "Okay, what do you wanna do? YOU WANNA CALL THE GUARDS?!"

"I'll break more, you go ahead!", fumed Discord.

Rem threatens, "**I'LL CALL THE GUARDS IF YOU BREAK ONE MORE PLATE!**"

He responds by pulling out yet another plate and smashing it!

"DO IT!", insisted the draconequus, putting his hands on his hips.

Rem then turns to the kitchen door and called out, "Roswaal, I need you to do something about this? Can you come here, sir?"

"Staying out of it.", faintly said Roswaal in the other room.

The twins then see Discord toss a tall stool across the kitchen in anger.

"**OVER VANILLA?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!**", Rem screamed furiously, turning to her left to where the toaster, coffee pot and microwave were at...

...and the vanilla extract was sitting there by the coffee pot and toaster without them noticing.

Rem realizes, "Oh my god!", as she came over and grabbed the vanilla extract, showing it to Discord.

"...where did that come from?", asked the lord of chaos.

The blue-haired oni girl overwhelmingly says, "It was right there by the toaster and coffee pot!", giving the vanilla extract to Discord.

After a few short moments, Discord calmly continued, "...Anyway, you take your vanilla...", placing the extract in the batter mix for the pumpkin pies.

"What...?", Rem cringed, after seeing that he acted natural after all the damages he did for the plates, "I'm not seeing another second of this-"

The draconequus objects, "**No, you won't! We are baking the pumpkin pies!**", resuming, "Anyway, you take your vanilla... You know, I love vanilla, and I like using it.", mixing the batter again, "And when this thing cooks, you're gonna love it...", saying this when he was putting the batter mix in two seperate pastry sheets for the pies.

"You don't even care!", Rem said to him.

The lord of chaos confused, "What?"

"You destroyed the kitchen, you don't care about nothing!", she tells him.

Discord sighs and said, "Please, you need to back off... Back off."

"**For what did you did that FOR?!**"

"**BACK OFF!** ...Or we're out of pie business today!"

"**We're already out of pie business! YOU BROKE THE PLATES, you ruined it- STOP-**", shouted Rem as Discord comes over and takes out the last bowl, smashing it, "I'm sick of this!", watching him take out the last plate and then smashing it on the ground, "Goodness gracious...", before seeing Discord pick up the undone pumpkin pie with Rem and Rem shocked, the former threatening again, "Throw the pie or I'm gonna call the police!"

Discord proceeds, which ends up with Ram getting the pie to the face.

Worried about her twin sister, Rem led Ram out of the kitchen and into the dining room as the blue-haired girl said, "I'm out! I'M OUT OF HERE and I'm sick of it! We'll be in our room!", as she saw the lord of chaos grab the bowl of batter mix, "Don't you dare- Don't be stupid- I swear to god I'll call the guards!"

"What happened?", Roswaal said, having finished his meal and witnessing what's happening with the three.

Discord then walks over to Rem and Ram closely with the bowl of batter mix, as the twins both said, "Stop! Roswaal, help!"

"I dare ya...", the draconequus dared, glaring at Roswaal, "I dare ya... You're gonna back your ass off."

Roswaal sighs, "Or what? You wouldn't dare. I've been working on my makeup every morning for 15 minutes-", before Discord scoops a portion of the batter mix and splats it on Roswaal's arm and cheek, causing him to groan in disgust.

"Come on, sir. Let's go get you a bath. Come with us.", Rem offered.

The lord of chaos abruptly shouts, "MAN!", toppling and tossing the rest of the pumpkin pie mix towards her!

"**STOOOP!**", Rem yelled, dodging the batter mix and causing it to splatter on the floor!

As Roswaal comes over, he accidentally slips and falls onto the floor, far away from the mess.

"Go! I'll take care of this.", Discord angrily said, "I'm sorry, and I will clean it all up. Now we got no pumpkin pies for dessert!"

The blue-haired girl scolded, "That was just bitter and ridiculous! Enjoy cleaning up the plates!"

"You're lucky I can fix things with my chaos magic!", the draconequus talked back as Rem and Ram help Roswaal as the three leave the dining room.

It was a rough night for them, especially for Discord. But Discord managed to clean the mess and summon a bunch of new plates for the kitchen.

Yet they didn't get to have dessert that night.


End file.
